Services

Many of the people I work with are thoughtful, insightful, and highly self-aware.

They often understand their patterns. They can usually describe what is happening, where it came from, and why it makes sense. Many have read the books, listened to the podcasts, followed the therapy accounts, or even worked with previous therapists.

What they are looking for is not necessarily more understanding, they are looking for things to actually change.

I’ve found that the problem is rarely a lack of insight, but rather learning how to respond differently when those patterns show up in real life.

You may find yourself talking yourself out of your own needs, second-guessing your feelings, replaying conversations for hours, avoiding difficult discussions, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling caught between being honest and maintaining connection with the people you care about.

Many people already know they should set a boundary, ask for what they need, speak up, stop apologizing, or make a difficult decision.

The problem is what happens inside when they try.

Fear, guilt, self-doubt, anxiety, and old relationship patterns often appear so quickly that the familiar response comes automatically.

Together, we work to notice, understand, and gradually interrupt this automatic process. We slow these moments down and look closely at what is happening underneath them. We work together to understand what makes honesty feel risky, needs feel selfish, conflict feel dangerous, and self-sacrifice feel necessary.

Rather than simply talking about your life, therapy becomes a place to examine these patterns as they happen and experiment with different ways of responding to them. Therapy is also a relationship; one where you can practice being more direct, more honest, and more fully yourself without fearing that disagreement, disappointment, or difficult emotions will automatically lead to rejection or disconnection.

Over time, many clients find it becomes easier to:

• Spend less time imagining conversations and more time having them
• Recognize their needs before resentment builds
• Set boundaries without being overwhelmed by guilt
• Trust their own perspective without needing constant reassurance
• Feel more confident expressing what they want, what they feel, and who they are
• Build relationships that no longer require them to choose between honesty and connection

Therapy doesn’t aim to change you, it aims to help you stay connected to yourself while staying connected to the people you love.

Couples therapy is a space to step out of the day-to-day logistics of life and focus on the relationship itself; how you get stuck, how distance develops, and what makes it difficult to stay honest, connected, and fully yourselves with one another.

Many couples come to therapy already understanding their struggles. They know which conversations they keep avoiding. They know which arguments keep repeating. They know where resentment is building and where connection has become more difficult.

Most couples do not come to therapy because they lack communication skills.

They come because they have become trapped inside a pattern that neither person knows how to escape.

Often, both partners are trying very hard to protect the relationship.

Ironically, those efforts to protect the relationship can become the very thing that keeps the pattern alive.

One person pursues while the other withdraws.

One partner accommodates while the other assumes everything is fine.

Difficult conversations get postponed. Needs go unspoken. Resentment quietly grows.

Neither person intended to create these dynamics, yet both become caught inside them.

Many couples spend years trying to solve these problems by communicating more carefully, working harder, avoiding conflict, or finding the perfect way to explain themselves. While these efforts are often well-intentioned, they frequently leave the underlying pattern untouched.

My role is not to act as a referee, determine who is right and who is wrong, or hand out communication scripts.

Instead, we slow these moments down and look closely at what happens between you.

How does one person's reaction influence the other person's response?

How do attempts to protect the relationship unintentionally create more distance?

What keeps both people locked into a dynamic neither of them actually wants?

Rather than focusing on who is right and who is wrong, we focus on understanding and changing the patterns that keep repeating between you.

As therapy progresses, couples often become better able to recognize these dynamics while they are happening rather than only after another painful argument or misunderstanding.

New choices become possible.

Conversations that once felt impossible become easier to have.

Conflict becomes less threatening.

Repair becomes easier.

The relationship begins to feel less like something that must be carefully managed and more like something both people can actively participate in together.

Many couples find themselves trapped between two painful options: be honest and risk conflict, or stay quiet and grow resentful. Part of our work is helping couples discover that those are not the only choices available.

Together, we work to create new ways of responding that make honesty, accountability, connection, and mutual understanding more possible.

What We Focus On

Understanding the Pattern

Recognizing the recurring dynamics that create conflict, distance, resentment, or disconnection and learning how to interrupt them together.

Emotional Honesty

Learning how to share difficult emotions, concerns, and needs in ways that create understanding rather than defensiveness, withdrawal, or escalation.

Repair & Accountability

Developing the ability to take responsibility for your part of a relationship dynamic without collapsing into blame, shame, or defensiveness.

Connection Without Self-Abandonment

Learning how to express needs, hold boundaries, tolerate difficult conversations, and remain connected to yourself while staying connected to your partner.

LGBTQ+ & Non-Monogamous Relationships

I work with queer, non-monogamous, and polyamorous relationships, including dyads and select multi-partner systems. I bring both personal and professional experience with consensual non-monogamy and understand many of the unique challenges, questions, and relationship dynamics that can arise within these relationships.

Over time, many couples find it becomes easier to communicate openly, navigate conflict without becoming overwhelmed, repair hurt more effectively, and build relationships that no longer require either person to sacrifice authenticity in order to maintain connection.

The goal is not a conflict-free relationship.

The goal is a relationship where both people can be fully themselves and remain deeply connected.